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Lonesome tonight children?

October 28, 2014

The emotional development of a child, depends on the emotional bonds built with the parents. To the extent that these exist, then it gives the child a template, upon which other relationships, with friendships and lovers can be built. To the extent that that trusting relationship is displaced with a lack of trust, and a lack of learned ability to show and receive affection, then you are quite incapable of trusting and receiving and showing affection for others. I didn’t behave in a way, which was expectant of affection from others, and I certainly didn’t show any affection, for underlying everything is a feeling that people simply find me disgusting. It wasn’t a consciously thought through process, it was just a state, a predisposition, the result of a process that I had little control over.

One of my favourite songs was New Order’s Lonesome Tonight,….

I walk along the street
I look into your eyes
I’m pleasant when we meet
I’m there when you go home
How many times before
Could you tell I didn’t care?
When you turned your back on me
I knew we’d get nowhere
Do you believe in youth?
The history of all truth
A heart that’s left at home
Becomes a heart of stone

Do you believe in truth?
The lies we told of youth
A cause we call our own
Beside an empty throne
How many times before
Could you tell I didn’t care?
When you reached out in your sleep
And you knew I wasn’t there
My eyes are made of stone
Just like your sordid home
How many times before
Did you leave my soul alone?


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